#Winning!

A little over 2 years ago our church kicked off the Global Freedom initiative- a plan to build over 200 schools in India over the next 10 years to begin eradicating the oppressive caste system and illegal sex trafficking in that nation.  For us personally, it was the beginning of something that would redefine not only how we “did church” but how we did life…

At a certain point in the service, I distinctly felt like the Lord was calling me to leave my job (at the time I was the Sales Manager for a Home Theater Company).  2009 wasn’t a very good year for our economy; we personally had a ton of debt, and not to mention two toddlers, so I was a little scared at the notion of leaving a steady paycheck.  The “conversation” went something like this:

God: You need to leave your job now, otherwise you never will.

Me: “OK God, when do you want me to quit my job?”

God: April 1st.

Me: “OK… that’s 6 weeks away.  And April 1st- haha, very funny… I’m going to pray about it for a few days, juuuuust to be sure that I ‘heard’ you correctly…”

Now, time out…

When I say that God is talking to me, I don’t mean like a big booming voice coming down from the sky kind of talk; that’s not how it works, at least not with me.  In fact, it wasn’t until recently in life that I truly understood how God communicates with me.  In my case, he speaks to me with assurance.  Hebrews 11:1 says: “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”  So, it’s as if I’m in the future looking back at an event that has already happened, only that event has yet to happen.  It’s almost like speaking in the past tense: “April 1st was the day I quit my job.”

Time in…

Immediately my rational mind began to kick in: “Wait a minute, that’s crazy talk!  We have maybe 3 months of money to live off of, not to mention 2 kids and debt; AND a bad economy working against us.”  Followed by a hundred more “what-if’s”…  After church was over, Sarah and I were talking about the service as we usually do:

Sarah: “I really felt like the Lord was telling me that you need to quit your job.”

Me: “OK, apparently God is trying to talk to us, because he told me the same thing…  When?”

Sarah: “Is it April 1st or June 1st?” (she said, knowing that it was really April 1st)

Me: “April 1st.”

Sarah: “Crap…”

So, we prayed for a few days, but it was already a done deal in our minds.  I began looking for other jobs, but was getting shut out at every place I tried.  And while Sarah (and I) knew deep down that I was supposed to pursue photography full time with her, I wasn’t ready to let go of having a salaried position.  Over the course of the next few weeks, I slowly began to surrender to the notion that God was about to take us on an “adventurous” ride- one where we didn’t know where our money would come from, but where we had to trust entirely on Him for our livelihood.  And to up the ante, God also called us to give a portion of our business profit towards the Global Freedom initiative, separate from our normal tithing.  So with that, we took (what seemed to be) a huge risk, and our “part-time” photography business was reborn…

I tell you all of this to say that GOD IS WINNING.

Yes:
-we are still standing 2 years later.
-our business has grown tremendously and is becoming more and more successful.
-we are now officially debt free.
-it has been difficult at times.
-and yes, we have a list a mile long of stories, blessings, challenges, and encouragements. But it’s not about our business…

It’s about God changing people’s hearts.

It’s about people’s lives being saved- literally.

It’s about the blindside… God changing our hearts.

Taking the leap 2 years ago stirred up some of my greatest fears:

-Failure.
-Not being able to provide for my family.
-Chaos.
-Not having control.

But I’m learning that God is the provider for my family and I am merely the steward.  Failure is not an end, but a means to an end; what I would consider a failure is what God would consider a learning tool and a step in the right direction.  There is no such thing as chaos in God’s eyes; his order is ever-present, even when things don’t make sense.  And control…did I ever really even have it to begin with?

Our pastor recently illustrated it this way: he had everyone in church stand up and open their hands out, facing down.  He prayed that we would keep our minds like this, so that no treasure, no thing, no plan, no person would prevent us from truly following God- that we would not only have open hands, but hands that would completely let go of trying to control our own lives.

Surrendered.

And what a tough word that is to swallow; think of all the fears, pains, and anger that it evokes.  But surrender to God is different; it doesn’t mean losing or being defeated.  It means being empowered.  When we surrender, God wins in our lives.  And when God wins, we win.  Not the way we thought; not necessarily the way we hoped for; and usually not as small as we imagined.  Our life is not without challenges, but we consider ourselves to be so blessed to be a part of something bigger than us; we have the opportunity to save people’s lives and be grown & stretched in the process.  And you know what- we have a pretty killer job too!  One that we enjoy and affords us plenty of freedom.  And that my friends is “#WINNING!”